It's Been a Year

I remember perfectly how it all went down; how an argument led to calling up my mom at 1 in the morning to ask her to pick us (me and Laela) up at our townhouse in Project 6.

I vividly remember how he tried to stop me from leaving; how I said I just needed space, and that this was just a temporary thing.

I remember how he called me lazy; how he got so pissed about me not being able to serve him lunch, simply because I was exhausted from work and from taking care of our daughter; how my efforts have always gone to waste, whenever his expectations of how a good wife is supposed to be, were not met.

I remember how I asked my 'then' boss that I had to have my shift schedule adjusted, because I was emotionally distraught; only to wake up in the middle of the night, to an empty house, with no signs of the person you depended on to watch over your kid once you left for work. I remember how I called my bosses up, to tell them that I had to go on leave because he was gone.

I remember how finally, I had the chance to leave, and that I didn't think twice about packing up. How I called up my father-in-law and told him I'm done, and that I couldn't do this anymore.

I can't believe it's been a year since all of this happened. I can't believe that the reality of being separated has graduated to a year. What's most ironic is how our anniversary/monthsary falls on the 27th of each month... and that exact date would be the day when I'd leave.

I always thought that marriages were set in stone; that the commitment you have is for life, and that those vows, though broken, should still be followed through, "til death do you part"; but how can an abused person live through more years of pain? How can one stand a person who refuses to love you the way you should be loved?

I might be judged for the life I live now, that I simply followed my parents' footsteps, and dove into the statistic of the dysfunctional and separated; but again, I stand by my decision, not out of pride, not out of some selfish intent, but rather, out of love -- love for my daughter, and love for myself.

So here I am, celebrating my first anniversary alone at the store, out of that wretched place I used to call home.. indeed, the greatest life lessons are learned the hard way, but nevertheless, learned, and mastered.

A Big Change

For 4 years, I worked as a night shift practitioner for IBM. I worked in a routine-filled environment, always thinking that I would stay here, far longer than I expected.

The moment I graduated, I was asked to work out of necessity. I never had the time (or luxury) to take a breather, get some rest, or to have some vacation to enjoy my youth before I had to start paying for my own bills. I grew up too fast, I think, but it was because I had to help around the house. God knows we haven't been the most financially-blessed family there is.

I never mapped out my plans, what my dreams were, or what I envisioned myself to be in the next 5 years. I never had some sort of projection as to what I saw myself in.

I just needed money, and I needed it fast; so lo and behold, my sister, who was already an employee in IBM, asked me to try it out. So I did. Got hired immediately, and started before I knew it.

May 19, 2009 was my exact hire date. Started out with BMS Learning, then 2 years later, moved to L&K ILO for a year, then a year later, was moved to Brand ILO... my final team before I make this big career move.

From working in the BPO industry for 4 years, I never thought I'd switch to fashion/retail/sales/marketing. I really did not expect this. I just stumbled upon the posting in Job Street, that said "Fashion Consultant", and actually applied for it out of sheer whim. The interviews happened, and after weeks of doubting and waiting, voila.

I'm now heading the Stuart Weitzman store in SM Aura. From being a practitioner in the BPO industry, I now find myself being an instant manager and head of a team. I've also been speaking with Brand Ambassadors in preparation for our store's opening. I'm finally doing public relations, one that I actually studied for, for 4 years in Ateneo. I'm finally doing what I love the most -- speaking with people, and being able to be the fashionista that I am. And the best part is, I'm dealing with SHOES -- shoes! Shoes, which I love the most.. which is my ultimate fashion "luho", next to make up of course.

After 4 years of being a vampire, I finally get to be normal. Finally get to sleep beside Laela at night. She would finally wake up next to me, and I'll be the first person she sees when the sunlight hits our room.

All this, is such a big change -- both scary and exciting at the same time. I'm moving out of my comfort zone, and moving into something that's very new to me... I know though that somehow, things are finally falling into place.. and that God's making a way for me to have a better life.

I pray I do well, and that I succeed in this new field. I'm very excited, and hopeful, and scared, and among other things, just thankful that I was given this opportunity. A lot of responsibility has been handed over to me, but I guess they saw something in me that made me right for the position.. :)