They say the corporate world has no room for real friends, or genuinely liking the people you work with. You go to work on time, work your arse off, take your lunch break, have a smoke or two (for some), log out, and go home.
Most people do not have the privilege of being surrounded by, to put it bluntly, genuinely likeable individuals. Some people, you'd treat as friends, only to find out they're the ones behind the gun: pulling the trigger of bullets filled with hate and criticism.
What's funny is how most people who suffer this kind of disrespect, are those who aren't even in competition with others.
That being said: would you rather, do what you love even if your co-workers aren't really that loveable?
Or do work that you may or may not love 100%, but your co-workers are simply awesome.
It's a tough choice, and it's a matter of prioritizing what you love more: your career growth, or your sanity.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Up too early
So I woke up today, thinking, 4:30 am is just too early.
But then I thought about it, and I simply shook my head. I'm supposed to be up this early, actually, I shouldn't even had slept last night --- which would result to me being awake the entire day, and feeling woozy at work later. Good luck to me. :))
I went downstairs to have breakfast, and found it peculiar that my Starbucks planner was on the dining table, seemingly untouched, but a pen was on top of it. I decided to flip through the pages, and lo and behold, found 3 new notes on it, in Lance's penmanship.
1 -- was on December 27th, and read "wedding anniversary <3 5th anniversary"
2 -- was on November 8th (his birthday) and read "I love you baby =)"
3 -- was what I didn't expect, and it was on July 15th, yesterday. It contained the sweetest note, telling me how much he misses me and how much he loves me, and 3 Bible verses from the service he attended yesterday.
See, it's these things like this one that make me realize that giving up (and the temptation to do so) may be the easy way out, but not necessarily the right one. I'm not exactly sure why I've been feeling some of these bouts of depression lately, but I guess I've been having a hard time dealing with certain emotions that I just find myself wanting to get out of everything. And I'm very thankful to my ever-patient husband that he keeps reminding me why I should keep holding on, and why I should be strong.
I guess waking up to this surprise gives me another sense of hope, especially for this coming week. I know more challenges are about to face me, especially at work, but I'll grab my strength from this. After all, what doesn't kill you, only makes you so much darn stronger.
But then I thought about it, and I simply shook my head. I'm supposed to be up this early, actually, I shouldn't even had slept last night --- which would result to me being awake the entire day, and feeling woozy at work later. Good luck to me. :))
I went downstairs to have breakfast, and found it peculiar that my Starbucks planner was on the dining table, seemingly untouched, but a pen was on top of it. I decided to flip through the pages, and lo and behold, found 3 new notes on it, in Lance's penmanship.
1 -- was on December 27th, and read "wedding anniversary <3 5th anniversary"
2 -- was on November 8th (his birthday) and read "I love you baby =)"
3 -- was what I didn't expect, and it was on July 15th, yesterday. It contained the sweetest note, telling me how much he misses me and how much he loves me, and 3 Bible verses from the service he attended yesterday.
See, it's these things like this one that make me realize that giving up (and the temptation to do so) may be the easy way out, but not necessarily the right one. I'm not exactly sure why I've been feeling some of these bouts of depression lately, but I guess I've been having a hard time dealing with certain emotions that I just find myself wanting to get out of everything. And I'm very thankful to my ever-patient husband that he keeps reminding me why I should keep holding on, and why I should be strong.
I guess waking up to this surprise gives me another sense of hope, especially for this coming week. I know more challenges are about to face me, especially at work, but I'll grab my strength from this. After all, what doesn't kill you, only makes you so much darn stronger.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Starting anew
So I decided to create a new account, both for Facebook and Twitter.
I know. It's a hassle, and I can easily lengthen my Blocked People list or by simply un-friending some people whom I no longer talk to; but being able to create both accounts from "scratch" just gives me a sense of... "newness". It's a new beginning, for my "cyber life", and a new beginning for myself.
---
In other news, baby Laela turned over from her belly to her back last July 8th! :) another milestone for our little girl. Next thing we know, she's starting to walk, talk, run, and play hide & seek with us.
No video taken though; while I was taking her video, Lance's iPod signaled that it lacked memory already, and while I was deleting the video I took, she finally turned over successfully. Talk about missing it again :)) but I'm sure, she'll surprise me, one of these days.
---
What is it with Facebook and Twitter that it's just so addicting? I was actually thinking of deactivating everything altogether, and just stop using both social mediums, but I just felt that it'll disconnect me from everyone else. Call me dependent on technology, but I think it's just how the world works now.
At least now, I can properly filter the people in my life already, at least in terms of the social platforms I use. I don't have to hide anything anymore, nor do I have to worry if people will have a problem with what I post. It's a worry-free environment for me at least.
I know. It's a hassle, and I can easily lengthen my Blocked People list or by simply un-friending some people whom I no longer talk to; but being able to create both accounts from "scratch" just gives me a sense of... "newness". It's a new beginning, for my "cyber life", and a new beginning for myself.
---
In other news, baby Laela turned over from her belly to her back last July 8th! :) another milestone for our little girl. Next thing we know, she's starting to walk, talk, run, and play hide & seek with us.
No video taken though; while I was taking her video, Lance's iPod signaled that it lacked memory already, and while I was deleting the video I took, she finally turned over successfully. Talk about missing it again :)) but I'm sure, she'll surprise me, one of these days.
---
What is it with Facebook and Twitter that it's just so addicting? I was actually thinking of deactivating everything altogether, and just stop using both social mediums, but I just felt that it'll disconnect me from everyone else. Call me dependent on technology, but I think it's just how the world works now.
At least now, I can properly filter the people in my life already, at least in terms of the social platforms I use. I don't have to hide anything anymore, nor do I have to worry if people will have a problem with what I post. It's a worry-free environment for me at least.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
So why did I get married again?
I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me I had my baby too early, and I got married before I was able to enjoy my single life to the fullest. I guess people just have varying perspectives as to what good choices are at certain points in your life.
I met Lance, my husband, last 2007 - back when my hair was a very noticeable auburn shade, cut so short, people called me Storm. We met at the most unconventional place two people could ever meet and fall in love in - the church. Though he wasn't the apple of my eye [yet] when I first came to GCF Ortigas, he noticed me first, but never made a move. Heck, I couldn't even remember being introduced to him properly then.
As months progressed, I was able to notice him already, probably because I wasn't that shy around the folks there anymore. Nothing still happened, and the closest "conversation" we ever had was him telling me that my dress was nice.
A month later, at a friend's despedida, the one question that started it all was "can I hitch a ride home with you?" And the rest is history.
We never really had the perfect relationship; in fact, my family was against us before, and mind you, it was a whirlwind romance indeed. We've both had our share of drama, ups & downs, "paglalayas" moments, and everything else you can imagine. It was as if someone was directing our love story, telenovela style. Drama kung drama lang, but we were happy nonetheless.
2 years later, on the windy shores of Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, he proposed. Ring inside the box, he asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, despite everything. I, of course, said yes, without hesitation. I knew I wanted to marry him even before he proposed. I promised myself I wouldn't be in a relationship, if I didn't want to marry the guy.
Roughly 2 years after, I got pregnant, but had a miscarriage. I was on the brink of giving up. I was considering it as a sign that maybe God didn't want us to be together anymore, and that it was time to walk away. 2 months after, I miraculously got pregnant again, despite my condition of having difficulty conceiving. Before we knew it, everything was falling into place, our families met, and we got married on our 4th anniversary.
Our love story was never what I had in mind. As a child, I always had that fairytale like imagination of what my love story was going to be like - blame Disney movies for that; but after being exposed to a dysfunctional living situation at an early age, I figured, we all have our own versions of what true love is all about; it's the imperfect kind of love, and yet, so passionate and so full of life at the same time. It's the kind of love that hurts, but is still so happy. It's a combination of all other feelings that you can think of - it's hatred, jealousy, contentment, giddyness, sincerity, forgiveness, it's everything.
So why did I get married again? ---
Was it because I got pregnant? -- no.
Was it because it felt right at the time? -- no.
Was it because it was what's best for our baby? -- no.
It was because we loved (and still love) each other, plain and simple. It doesn't have to be complicated, and it doesn't have to be over-analyzed. Though the circumstances that led to the marriage seem as if they were our reasons for doing so, they're not. I remember our Pastor telling us that the sequence of events of our love story just got mixed up; in the end, we were still meant to be together. I have my doubts sometimes, and even bouts of "lumayas ka na" moments during heated arguments; but really, I find myself wanting to keep my end of the bargain, to see everything through and through. Our wedding vows weren't just mere words that we read off some piece of paper. They were (and still are) promises made in front of God, and in front of our family and friends. They were God's way of telling us "it will be hard, but you can do it".
Being married for 6 months has taught me a lot of things, some which are very difficult to explain in one blog entry. In a nutshell, marriage is never easy, but it is up to you, husbands & wives, to make things work, and to align your decisions to what you think God is asking you to do. It never really is about you 100%, most especially now, that we have a baby daughter to raise.
My [unsolicited] advice to other young, married couples out there is -- it really is hard, most especially if your finances are not much; arguments will arise along the way, because naturally you care; it might seem as if leaving is the best option because you're too tired to over-think and argue, and your patience is running out; but as long as you respect each other, and believe that God is molding you to become the strongest couple you can ever be, you will be able to handle challenges, no matter how hard they are -- so as long as you work together and strive really hard to go through everything as a team. Love your partner, despite his/her shortcomings. Forgive, even though it hurts. Let go of past hurts, and move on. Don't recount past mistakes and use them to your advantage. 1 Corinthians 13 has always been the best guide to love (for me). In the end, each challenge you face as a couple will transform itself into milestones, that will make you smile when you look back, and say "I'm glad we faced that together".
I met Lance, my husband, last 2007 - back when my hair was a very noticeable auburn shade, cut so short, people called me Storm. We met at the most unconventional place two people could ever meet and fall in love in - the church. Though he wasn't the apple of my eye [yet] when I first came to GCF Ortigas, he noticed me first, but never made a move. Heck, I couldn't even remember being introduced to him properly then.
As months progressed, I was able to notice him already, probably because I wasn't that shy around the folks there anymore. Nothing still happened, and the closest "conversation" we ever had was him telling me that my dress was nice.
A month later, at a friend's despedida, the one question that started it all was "can I hitch a ride home with you?" And the rest is history.
We never really had the perfect relationship; in fact, my family was against us before, and mind you, it was a whirlwind romance indeed. We've both had our share of drama, ups & downs, "paglalayas" moments, and everything else you can imagine. It was as if someone was directing our love story, telenovela style. Drama kung drama lang, but we were happy nonetheless.
2 years later, on the windy shores of Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, he proposed. Ring inside the box, he asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, despite everything. I, of course, said yes, without hesitation. I knew I wanted to marry him even before he proposed. I promised myself I wouldn't be in a relationship, if I didn't want to marry the guy.
Roughly 2 years after, I got pregnant, but had a miscarriage. I was on the brink of giving up. I was considering it as a sign that maybe God didn't want us to be together anymore, and that it was time to walk away. 2 months after, I miraculously got pregnant again, despite my condition of having difficulty conceiving. Before we knew it, everything was falling into place, our families met, and we got married on our 4th anniversary.
Our love story was never what I had in mind. As a child, I always had that fairytale like imagination of what my love story was going to be like - blame Disney movies for that; but after being exposed to a dysfunctional living situation at an early age, I figured, we all have our own versions of what true love is all about; it's the imperfect kind of love, and yet, so passionate and so full of life at the same time. It's the kind of love that hurts, but is still so happy. It's a combination of all other feelings that you can think of - it's hatred, jealousy, contentment, giddyness, sincerity, forgiveness, it's everything.
So why did I get married again? ---
Was it because I got pregnant? -- no.
Was it because it felt right at the time? -- no.
Was it because it was what's best for our baby? -- no.
It was because we loved (and still love) each other, plain and simple. It doesn't have to be complicated, and it doesn't have to be over-analyzed. Though the circumstances that led to the marriage seem as if they were our reasons for doing so, they're not. I remember our Pastor telling us that the sequence of events of our love story just got mixed up; in the end, we were still meant to be together. I have my doubts sometimes, and even bouts of "lumayas ka na" moments during heated arguments; but really, I find myself wanting to keep my end of the bargain, to see everything through and through. Our wedding vows weren't just mere words that we read off some piece of paper. They were (and still are) promises made in front of God, and in front of our family and friends. They were God's way of telling us "it will be hard, but you can do it".
Being married for 6 months has taught me a lot of things, some which are very difficult to explain in one blog entry. In a nutshell, marriage is never easy, but it is up to you, husbands & wives, to make things work, and to align your decisions to what you think God is asking you to do. It never really is about you 100%, most especially now, that we have a baby daughter to raise.
My [unsolicited] advice to other young, married couples out there is -- it really is hard, most especially if your finances are not much; arguments will arise along the way, because naturally you care; it might seem as if leaving is the best option because you're too tired to over-think and argue, and your patience is running out; but as long as you respect each other, and believe that God is molding you to become the strongest couple you can ever be, you will be able to handle challenges, no matter how hard they are -- so as long as you work together and strive really hard to go through everything as a team. Love your partner, despite his/her shortcomings. Forgive, even though it hurts. Let go of past hurts, and move on. Don't recount past mistakes and use them to your advantage. 1 Corinthians 13 has always been the best guide to love (for me). In the end, each challenge you face as a couple will transform itself into milestones, that will make you smile when you look back, and say "I'm glad we faced that together".
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
A letter to my baby daughter
Dear Laela,
It's been 3 months since I gave birth to you, and you've been nothing but awesome. I remember being so sleepless when they roomed you in with us at the hospital, and I ended up staying awake for 48 hours. I could never fathom how I was able to survive, and how my body was able to handle such stress; but I knew, that staying awake for you was going to be forever worth it.
I remember how I cried when I first held you; after hearing the doctors say "OK na, ayan na!" I couldn't wait to hold you. I remember hearing your first cry, and experiencing your first latch. I remember everything, much more than I remember portions of my 'past life' before we had you.
You see, you have made me feel more alive, and being able to hold you for the first time awoken my purpose here on earth - I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to be YOUR mom.
Your daddy and I have struggled through the years, but have managed to stay in love with each other in spite of everything. When we lost our first baby, I thought I wasn't going to handle it anymore; I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant again, and the first thing that entered my mind was "I'm not going to lose this one; I can't lose this one".
You're growing up so fast. I can't believe in 3 months time, you'll be able to turn over, giggle, and start "singing/talking" to us. Seeing your gummy smile zaps all my stress away, and every time I have to leave for work, I instantly count the hours until I can come home to you again.
Our lives have been so much better and much more colorful with you around. I have never seen your grammy THIS happy.. I have never seen your daddy THIS happy.
You are the perfect gift. Money can be nice too, but I will never trade you for anything. I can't wait for you to be able to say "mommy & daddy", and when you do, I'm sure my heart will leap out of my chest.
There's a lot for you to learn, but for now, crawling and talking will do. We love you baby Laela, and I hope we end up to be parents whom you can be proud of, and whom you can love back immensely.
<3,
Mommy
It's been 3 months since I gave birth to you, and you've been nothing but awesome. I remember being so sleepless when they roomed you in with us at the hospital, and I ended up staying awake for 48 hours. I could never fathom how I was able to survive, and how my body was able to handle such stress; but I knew, that staying awake for you was going to be forever worth it.
I remember how I cried when I first held you; after hearing the doctors say "OK na, ayan na!" I couldn't wait to hold you. I remember hearing your first cry, and experiencing your first latch. I remember everything, much more than I remember portions of my 'past life' before we had you.
You see, you have made me feel more alive, and being able to hold you for the first time awoken my purpose here on earth - I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to be YOUR mom.
Your daddy and I have struggled through the years, but have managed to stay in love with each other in spite of everything. When we lost our first baby, I thought I wasn't going to handle it anymore; I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant again, and the first thing that entered my mind was "I'm not going to lose this one; I can't lose this one".
You're growing up so fast. I can't believe in 3 months time, you'll be able to turn over, giggle, and start "singing/talking" to us. Seeing your gummy smile zaps all my stress away, and every time I have to leave for work, I instantly count the hours until I can come home to you again.
Our lives have been so much better and much more colorful with you around. I have never seen your grammy THIS happy.. I have never seen your daddy THIS happy.
There's a lot for you to learn, but for now, crawling and talking will do. We love you baby Laela, and I hope we end up to be parents whom you can be proud of, and whom you can love back immensely.
<3,
Mommy
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