Date a guy who plays

an instrument, and not with your heart.

A guy who is a natural-born artist will have an imagination that will take you places.

He won't be able to take you to expensive restaurants, or take you to out-of-town trips on a whim; but he will be the type who sticks with the old-fashioned way of wooing a lady: written love letters, cards, or a composition, made just for you.

He will be the cheesy one who cries at movies you'd refuse to cry to. A guy who plays an instrument always has an iPod or a music player attached to him, and will have a song dedicated just for you. He will randomly ask you to listen to the song he's currently obsessed with, and you will share a bond over music, earphones, and probably a pack of peanuts will devouring his playlist.

He will ask you out by asking you to attend one of his gigs - not because he wants a groupie or a fan; but because he wants the whole world (or at least the current attendees of the said gig) to know that his heart already belongs to someone. He'll probably buy you an iced tea, and put his arm around your waist, as he guides you through the jam-packed club. He'll introduce you to all his band mates and friends, and this small gesture, believe me or not, is his small way of saying "she's mine, and I'm lucky".

A guy who plays an instrument will sometimes act more of a woman when he gets hurt, not because he is completely immature, but because he's an artist -- and artists feel differently unlike 'normal' people. He'll have his own way of coping with challenges, and he will open up to you like no other guy ever has. Value this trait, because as he shows his true colors and his weaknesses, he's starting to let you know that he's falling in love with you, and that he TRUSTS you, not only with his heart, but with his soul.

He won't be the richest guy in the planet, but he will make sure you are taken care of. He will be forgetful about his responsibilities sometimes, but once he puts his mind into something, he'll deliver, and won't disappoint.

A guy who plays an instrument will love you, more than you could imagine. With every money he earns, he will spend it on you, because in his own little way, he wants to make you feel like a princess. He'll be the one to do your laundry, sweep the floors when needed, and at the end of the day, no matter how difficult life has been for you, a guy who plays, will create memories that you'll find yourself smiling at.

I didn't just date a guy who plays an instrument; I married one, and now, we have a beautiful daughter named Laela. He may not be the perfect man, but God willed him to be the perfect partner for me. Sure, there are days when I want to bang his head against his drumset, or leave our house when he's not around; but crazy at is seems, he's still the one person I'm in love with, and will love until my last breath.

Here's an entry for Lance, the guy who plays, and my husband of 8 months today. :)

Why you should stay in a job that doesn't make you happy

Now before you make any rash judgments with what you just read, let me finish the statement by saying until you know you've exhausted all your efforts to explore all opportunities within the company.

That being said, opportunities do not just entail switching roles or looking for possible promotions. By opportunities, I mean, taking each challenge that you encounter as a chance to understand people more and to understand yourself more. More often than not, the temptation of leaving a company because a lot of people piss you off is very high. The allure of knowing you can get paid more in a different employment situation can easily drag you away from an opportunity within your company to better yourself. I know, understanding others takes a lot of patience and humility; but if you try to shift your perspective into being more optimistic about the challenges thrown at you, your hard work will sooner or later pay off.

I got this inspiration from a question thrown in tonight's Top Talent Launch, held at the Meralco Theater. Someone asked our speakers if they had been tempted to leave IBM, and what made them stay.

Candy Sotto admitted that she wanted to leave IBM -- twice. Dod Peralta didn't necessarily want to leave, but became unhappy with his role once. The other speaker (whom I forgot the name; I couldn't see her name on the screen, my eyesight has gone from bad to worse) also wanted to leave once because of her manager.

An answer from Dod Peralta struck me, and quickly inspired me to shift my perspective: "You don't leave by avoiding something; you leave by going for something you want". Leaving your current role CAN be a solution, just as long as you know you've exhausted all possible ways on how to solve your issue(s). However, leaving a company does not necessarily mean you've escaped whatever it is that you're trying to avoid. There is still a high risk of experiencing the same problem in your next job, but will probably be presented in a different type of environment or setting. Bottom line is: there isn't such a thing called a perfect job. Even though you are 100% passionate about what you do, some people will always make it difficult for you, whether you are excelling or not. We will always encounter hurdles in whatever line of work we choose to immerse ourselves in; it is in one's perspective, attitude, and mindset that sets each individual apart from everyone else.

If your manager is pissing you off, I know it's better said than done, but why not go through the proper channel and air out your grievances? If a colleague is giving you a hard time, why not go and confront the person in a professional manner? Before you give up on something that's not even potentially destructive, try to find ways in order for you to grow. Being able to handle such types of challenges will certainly upgrade your maturity level without you realizing it; otherwise, escapism will only lead to band-aid solutions.

Admittedly, I've been tempted to leave my job, and my medical benefits were the only things keeping me from resigning. However, upon much thought and discernment, I told myself that I wanted to make sure I've done my very best here before I look for opportunities elsewhere. I'm blessed that I don't have managers who yell at me or curse me or ask me to do overtime work or treat me as a slave driver. I'm blessed that I don't have colleagues who molest me or who blackmail me and ask me to do compromising actions in the office. Some people have undergone worse situations, and when I really think about it, most of the problems I've encountered were only minor setbacks to distract me from achieving my goals.

I think it's normal to question your career at some point in your employment history - it's OKAY. There is nothing wrong about thinking about your future and if you're completely wasting your time in a company; but just make sure that those thoughts don't cloud your judgment, and don't lead you to believe that what you're currently doing is nonsense and is not worth fighting for. Try not to be emotional, and ensure that you are in a right state of mind before making any decisions. Remember, we are not getting any younger, and having a job nowadays has become a luxury rather than an obligation.

Of course, being a slave driver to a company that doesn't treat you well is another story. When you know you're dragging yourself to work no matter how hard you try to shift your perspective may just be your go signal to start looking for opportunities elsewhere. Work is never easy, but it shouldn't have to make you feel depressed or demoralized.

On chasing my dreams.. for real, this time

When I was a lot younger, I envisioned myself to be Nancy Drew - a young, cool, and hip detective who solves even the most bizarre cases you can imagine.

When I was in high school, I wanted to become a DJ or a host. Hence, I applied for a Communications course in Ateneo.

When I was in college, I wanted to become a PR giant. I wanted to make people look good, the way I always thought that people possessed so much good in them, despite their more disappointing qualities.

Now that I'm with IBM, I discovered how much I want to become a trainer, and have been working hard to achieve that. 3 years into the corporate world, I meet people who suddenly tender their resignations to pursue the arts - film, fashion, and anything else you can imagine. I always thought those people have been so brave, to risk their regular, monthly, steady paychecks, for something that doesn't have a 100% success rate.

Now that I'm a wife and a mother, I have something bigger in mind - a business, because I know that settling to be an employee won't really make me rich. Yes, I do want to be rich, but the kind that doesn't worry about money or debt before going to sleep;

the kind who has enough savings for a family trip to Disney World or Lake Tahoe.
the kind who has enough money to give to her mom when she needs it
the kind who has enough money to send her mom to Europe as a birthday gift

That kind.

Not the kind who goes gaga over the most pointless purchases because material things are the only things that make him/her happy already.
Not the kind who has been manipulated by his own riches; and most definitely not the kind who has fallen in love with his money.

I'm seriously considering following my ultimate dream - and that is to become a makeup artist. Freelance or not, I want to be able to enhance people's beauty, and to be able to boost someone's confidence because they feel good about how they look.

So yes, I'm decided to chase this dream of mine. If not now, when?

Breastfeeding woes

I think the day has finally come when I have stopped being in denial: I don't think my milk supply will come back...any time soon, that is.

It's quite depressing, because I've always wanted Laela to be breastfed, even for just a year. I've even invested in buying pump accessories for the Medela Swing pump that my friend Trina gave me, but to no avail; drinking Fenugreek, Malunggay capsules, Malunggay tea has done nothing. All I get are silly little trickles, and nothing more.

I've been researching online regarding breastfeeding woes, and I was encouraged because one website indicated that relactation is possible; so now I've been texting/emailing different support groups regarding breastfeeding, because I am really desperate to get my supply back --- problem is, Laela has refused to latch, and she gets frustrated when I try to 'force' her. I know formula-fed babies (such as myself, and my siblings) aren't necessarily worse than breastfed ones, but I just miss Laela and I bonding over that, even though it sucked a lot of my energy (pun, intended). I miss being in pain when I don't get to breastfeed... I miss rushing home because Laela has to breastfeed. :( not only is it beneficial emotionally, but mind you, formula is very expensive, and imagine how much savings we can generate, should we refrain from buying milk.

Hay, Lord. It's all up to You. I just really hope that I'll be able to get my milk supply back despite the stress I get from work and elsewhere :(

It's raining men... not.

I can't imagine being in a situation where I'm stuck on my rooftop, & praying for my salvation.

It's been raining like crazy for weeks now, and blimey, this rain ain't no joke. I'm blessed to be situated in an area where a few hours' worth of rainfall isn't enough to flood my entire house. This weather has been such a hassle though: internet connection has been flukey, and going to work has been terrible; mind you, it's not easy waking up when you only have 2 hours of sleep, and bed weather to boot. I'm also fortunate enough to be able to hitch a ride with my brother-in-law to work, so I wouldn't have to ride a cab and brave the storm like everyone else. I remember going to work once before, commuting hardcore, and arriving at UPA looking like a homeless person. I was wet from head to toe, and had to dry myself in the rest room (thank God for hand dryers).

I'm happy to have understandable managers to approve my work from home needs... life has really changed since Laela was born. It's much more difficult, yet, it's a lot happier. My focus from myself and my work has shifted vastly towards my family, and thinking about myself has become secondary. It's all about my husband and daughter now, and even my workaholism has changed because of that.

So right now, I am mustering the energy to work properly, despite this bed weather. I really pray that the weather cooperates soon. Class suspension does help with the heavy traffic, but blimey, traveling in this weather is quite dangerous, whether or not you have your own car.

Praying for everyone to be safe, especially those in low-lying areas. I'm relieved to be at home, safe with my family, but concerned for those who still had to report to work and are now stranded, wondering how in the world they can go home in this condition.

Sky, please stop crying now...