Perfect on Paper: Why It's Never Enough

Everything worked out so well. Everything was perfect on paper.

But being perfect on paper is never enough. I guess I could say I'm a douche for realizing it late, that what we represented was sortof ideal, yet there were a lot of things that had to be reevaluated.

Hurting someone never feels good. And I would never think that anyone deserves to get hurt emotionally. It's another necessary goodbye. It's another it could have been. It's a slight "sayang". It's a combination of all possible emotions that a person can experience when asking someone to stop. There's that sigh of relief. Yet I found myself bawling my eyes out in my car before leaving the parking lot. There's that sense of guilt, knowing you hurt another person who doesn't deserve it.

So.. If you manage to read this, which I don't know how. I am sincerely sorry. Because you have been nothing but kind. Perfect on paper. Generous. Respectful. Loving. Sincere. Probably everything that I was looking for.. But there are some things that are far more complicated, that you will never be able to understand, because our lives are so different. I don't regret however, having been able to give someone a chance to show me the happiness that I deserve. A happiness that the right person for you deserves.

I'm sorry. I don't think I'd be able to say it enough, nor will I even have the chance to show it.

But I truly am sorry.