When it's easier said than done

Funny how most of the time, the advice we give sounds so good when it's for other people; but when it's for our own sake, we fail to listen and we make dozens of excuses. The thing is, it's easier said than done. For some reason, we, as human beings, always have to learn the hard way. We need to be on the brink of self-destruction, when we finally realize that we have to get our act together. We then finally realize that what others have been telling us has been the right thing all along.

But hey, when we learn the hard way, the chances of us repeating the same mistake gets slimmer. Change can never be forcefully enforced (yes); it needs to come from within. Accepting what is, what isn't, what can, and cannot be, are things that we need to discover on our own, and it can never be something that's dictated or given as "unsolicited advice" by our parents or friends. Sometimes, these pieces of advice are even more effective when a totally random stranger says it to our face. For some reason, it's easier to swallow it from the unfamiliar, rather than from those who love us the most. Which is completely weird. But it's something I haven't deciphered just yet.

So what do you do when you're finally broken? When you've finally realized that what everyone else says is true, and that it was truly for your own good?

You trod down (more of stumble down) the road of confusion. You let yourself go for a couple of days, punish yourself if you must. But it shouldn't, and must not, go on for months. It's normal to blame yourself -- at least you know you are accountable for your actions; but blaming yourself for a stretched period of time is the perfect concoction for disaster; self-pity; low self-esteem; which will drive you to make even worse decisions than your previous ones.

But never ever ever. Drive yourself insane, with the mistakes of the past. Not only is it useless crying over spilled milk, but it hinders you to enjoy what you have at the moment: Friends who care. Family who will always be there. People who itch to tell you "I told you so" but instead of doing so, will give you a bottle of beer instead, drink with you til the wee hours of the morning, because they know that's what you need. It's normal to fear people now. Opening up and trusting others will now be a chore. What used to be such a normal thing, as easy as breathing, will now be a task that requires full attention. Mind over matter, you now say. Mind over heart, you now promise yourself.

I had to pick myself up, not for my sake, but for my daughter's. The thing is, truthfully, most days it's still a struggle. Everything still seems like a movie; a nightmare that irritatingly keeps playing inside my head whenever I'm alone or when everything seems too quiet. So being busy with work helps. Talking with my siblings and going out help. But most of all, spending time with my daughter has been the best therapy ever. That for me I think, is the healthiest driving force to help me with what I'm going through. Find something good and nice for a change. Making more mistakes will never be the solution to one's heartache or problems. Pray, if it helps. Start a journal. Go out with the right people. Find a hobby. Immerse yourself in things that truly make you happy. One day, we'll get there; to that happy place that people intend to find. One day, even though all this, is easier said than done.