Sanctuary

A place to call home. It doesn't have to be where I sleep on a daily basis, it doesn't have to be some fancy place I can relax it.

Sanctuary can be a person; a friend whom I can feel at home with. A companion who can give me a break from everything I have to do day in, and day out. A partner who can whisk away those negative vibes from work. From people. From him.

Someone I can walk around with, I can talk to, or not even talk to.
Someone whom I can enjoy the silence with. Someone who can understand me, without having to really fully understand me.
You don't have to be an 'empath' like me; you don't even have to say anything to make me feel better. You just have to be there, without any expectations of getting anything in return; without thinking that there will be an incentive once you serve your purpose...while I serve yours.

See, it's difficult to find this place we'd call home. Even our own houses don't serve that purpose at times, which is why we find ourselves running away.

Running away from everything.

Sometimes it would be just great to disappear; to be anonymous; to be in a place where no one really knows you; a place where the greatest judgment you'd receive would be about the clothes you're wearing, and how you look.

I felt that somehow. I went back to my alma mater yesterday to request for my transcript. And it felt great to walk around with a friend, to walk around people who don't have the slightest idea of who I am, or how old I am, or what I was doing there. It felt great to be unnoticed, to be anonymous, to be a wallflower. Having lunch where I used to eat served great memories. Walking under the heat of the sun - oh God. The sun, which I've missed terribly, as it heated up my skin and made me sweat, gave me a sense of comfort and that sense of feeling that I was alive. It didn't feel like I was dreaming. It felt more real than ever.

I've always told myself I was so glad to have graduated, to have started working, to finally earn my own money. Being back in Ateneo though, in that place where a lot of mistakes and wonderful memories happened, gave me back the feeling of being alive.. and yes, the feeling of being young. The atmosphere weirdly, oddly enough, felt like home, and it felt really comfortable, as if I had not left, as if the 4 years I have spent outside it weren't 4 years at all.

It was a mildly positive surprisingly pleasant feeling. That visit surprised myself, even though my only purpose was to request for a piece of paper. I'm quite excited to go back there this Thursday, and relive that same positive experience. I liked it. I liked it a lot.