So why did I get married again?

I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me I had my baby too early, and I got married before I was able to enjoy my single life to the fullest. I guess people just have varying perspectives as to what good choices are at certain points in your life.

I met Lance, my husband, last 2007 - back when my hair was a very noticeable auburn shade, cut so short, people called me Storm. We met at the most unconventional place two people could ever meet and fall in love in - the church. Though he wasn't the apple of my eye [yet] when I first came to GCF Ortigas, he noticed me first, but never made a move. Heck, I couldn't even remember being introduced to him properly then.

As months progressed, I was able to notice him already, probably because I wasn't that shy around the folks there anymore. Nothing still happened, and the closest "conversation" we ever had was him telling me that my dress was nice.

A month later, at a friend's despedida, the one question that started it all was "can I hitch a ride home with you?" And the rest is history.

We never really had the perfect relationship; in fact, my family was against us before, and mind you, it was a whirlwind romance indeed. We've both had our share of drama, ups & downs, "paglalayas" moments, and everything else you can imagine. It was as if someone was directing our love story, telenovela style. Drama kung drama lang, but we were happy nonetheless.

2 years later, on the windy shores of Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte, he proposed. Ring inside the box, he asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, despite everything. I, of course, said yes, without hesitation. I knew I wanted to marry him even before he proposed. I promised myself I wouldn't be in a relationship, if I didn't want to marry the guy.

Roughly 2 years after, I got pregnant, but had a miscarriage. I was on the brink of giving up. I was considering it as a sign that maybe God didn't want us to be together anymore, and that it was time to walk away. 2 months after, I miraculously got pregnant again, despite my condition of having difficulty conceiving. Before we knew it, everything was falling into place, our families met, and we got married on our 4th anniversary.

Our love story was never what I had in mind. As a child, I always had that fairytale like imagination of what my love story was going to be like - blame Disney movies for that; but after being exposed to a dysfunctional living situation at an early age, I figured, we all have our own versions of what true love is all about; it's the imperfect kind of love, and yet, so passionate and so full of life at the same time. It's the kind of love that hurts, but is still so happy. It's a combination of all other feelings that you can think of - it's hatred, jealousy, contentment, giddyness, sincerity, forgiveness, it's everything.

So why did I get married again? ---

Was it because I got pregnant? -- no.
Was it because it felt right at the time? -- no.
Was it because it was what's best for our baby? -- no.

It was because we loved (and still love) each other, plain and simple. It doesn't have to be complicated, and it doesn't have to be over-analyzed. Though the circumstances that led to the marriage seem as if they were our reasons for doing so, they're not. I remember our Pastor telling us that the sequence of events of our love story just got mixed up; in the end, we were still meant to be together. I have my doubts sometimes, and even bouts of "lumayas ka na" moments during heated arguments; but really, I find myself wanting to keep my end of the bargain, to see everything through and through. Our wedding vows weren't just mere words that we read off some piece of paper. They were (and still are) promises made in front of God, and in front of our family and friends. They were God's way of telling us "it will be hard, but you can do it".

Being married for 6 months has taught me a lot of things, some which are very difficult to explain in one blog entry. In a nutshell, marriage is never easy, but it is up to you, husbands & wives, to make things work, and to align your decisions to what you think God is asking you to do. It never really is about you 100%, most especially now, that we have a baby daughter to raise.

My [unsolicited] advice to other young, married couples out there is -- it really is hard, most especially if your finances are not much; arguments will arise along the way, because naturally you care; it might seem as if leaving is the best option because you're too tired to over-think and argue, and your patience is running out; but as long as you respect each other, and believe that God is molding you to become the strongest couple you can ever be, you will be able to handle challenges, no matter how hard they are -- so as long as you work together and strive really hard to go through everything as a team. Love your partner, despite his/her shortcomings. Forgive, even though it hurts. Let go of past hurts, and move on. Don't recount past mistakes and use them to your advantage. 1 Corinthians 13 has always been the best guide to love (for me). In the end, each challenge you face as a couple will transform itself into milestones, that will make you smile when you look back, and say "I'm glad we faced that together".